Monday, October 19, 2009

THE BOY.......

THE NIGHT IS SILENT AND A BIT DARK
WAT WAS AND WAT IS THE DIFF IS SO STARK

I TRY TO TURN THE PAGE,DRAW A NEW LEAF
STEALING SOMETHING OUT MYSELF LIKE A THIEF

WAT I MISS IS WAT I WANT TO KNO
WHEN I WILL GET OUT OF THIS GUNG HO

TIME PASSED WOUNDS HAVE HEALED
BUT I STILL MISS THE FOOL WHO KNEEL ED

ITS FEELS SO WARM TO WATCH DOWN THE MEMORY LANE
THINK OF THAT BOY WHO WAS INNOCENT AND INSANE

NO ONE WAS WRONG,NO ONE WAS RIGHT
IT WAS TIME WHICH WENT A BIT TIGHT

THE BOY STILL BEMUSES HIMSELF AND HIS THOUGHTS
TRYING TO PICK HIS BELIEFS FROM THE ROT

HE IS STANDING AND ONEDAY WILL WALK AGAIN
AGAIN HE WILL PUSH HIMSELF IN TO THE RAIN
HE HAS TO LIVE SO HE WILL BARE THE PAIN
BUT ONLY TO FIND HER ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN

BROKEN SHATTERD PIECES OF GLASS
HE TRIED TO SEARCH FOR GOLD IN BRASS

WAS HE DOWN ENOUGH TO BE THIS WAY
LIFE CAME TO HIM IN ITS FULL SWAY

STILL THINKING HOW WHY AND WHICH
THOUGHTS WILL BE DERE TILL THE LAST HITCH

LET ME PICK HIM UP,MAKE HIM WALK
SO THAT ONEDAY HE CAN TALK

BROKEN PIECES OF GLASS WONT LOOSE THEIR EDGE
THEY WILL WAIT SILENTLY UNTIL THINGS ARE AT THE HEDGE

LET IT SINK,DEEPER AND DOWN
LET IT SINK,PINK AND BROWN

Saturday, October 10, 2009

MY LOG PART 1

IT HAS BEEN A LONG WALK DOWN THE MEMORY LANE LAST NIGHT,A BIT OF VODKA AND SOME BEER DO BRING YOU MEMORIES WHICH ALWAYS BE WARM AND DEAR.
MEMORIES OF DIFFERENT INCIDENTS PLACES, PEOPLE AND CONDITIONS,MEMORIES WHICH INSPIRE US TO STAND AGAIN, MEMORIES OF HOW WE WENT DOWN JUST TO RISE AGAIN.
FOR ME ,WELL THERE WERE LOT OF SHADES, OF FRIENDS AND PLACES, WHO SHAPED ME INTO WHAT I AM TODAY,EACH PASSED MOMENT APPEARS TO BE A STROKE FROM DESTINY'S BRUSH.
WELL AS FAR AS I GET THIS WORLD ,THERE ARE VERY FEW WHO ARE LUCKY AND DEVOUT ENOUGH TO SEE THEMSELVES AS WAT THEY WANTED TO BE.FOR THE GENERAL CROWD LIKE US WE HAVE A SO CALLED SUCCESSFUL LIFE PATTERN FOR WHICH WE HAVE TO UNDERGO RIGOROUS "ACCOMPLISH EXPECTATIONS" TASK,WELL I AM NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT .COS I DONO ACTUALLY HAD THIS MODEL OF LIFE BEEN MISSING ,THEN HOW MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN.
FIRST STEP TO THE BIG DREAM IS TO GO TO A SCHOOL,THAT TO FOR 11 YEARS AT A STRETCH,FOR ME WHEN I LEFT MY SCHOOL THE ONLY THING WHICH CAME TO MY MIND WAS OH GOD FINALLY ITS OVER.IT WAS SERIOUSLY VERY TOUGH ON MY PART TO UNDERSTAND WHAT ACTUALLY I WAS GAINING BY BEING SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF SELF STYLED HYPO CRATES WHO INFUSE ALL SORT OF NONSENSE AND NEGATIVENESS IN YOU,ALTHOUGH THE CASE MAY BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE A KNACK OF REMAINING IN THE GOOD BOOKS OF TEACHERS,FOR THEM IT WOULD BE LIKE LEAVING AWAY A PART OF THEMSELVES.......ETC, BUT FOR US WHO WERE THERE BUT STILL HARD TO BE FOUND THE CASE HAS TO BE A BIT DIFFERENT.
AFTER ELEVEN LONG YEARS OF AN EXPERIENCE CALLED SCHOOLING I FIND THAT I REMAINED WHAT I WAS,NO SIGNIFICANT CHANGE EXCEPT FOR SOME GK FACTS ,SCIENTIFIC NOTATIONS AND MATHEMATICAL FORMULA WERE FINALLY WITH A LOT OF PAIN AND EFFORT PUSHED IN MY BRAIN.
GOT A CERTIFICATE TO MOVE ON AND BY THAT TIME I BECAME A 15 YEARS OLD TIMID BOY WHO WANTED TO DO NOTHING BUT STILL SOMEHOW THINGS DID HAPPEN AND I WAS ABLE TO HOLD ON RESISTING ALL POSSIBLE JERKS AND HICCUPS.
SCHOOLING WAS A TURBULENT EXPERIENCE,I WAS NEVER THE CHOSEN ONE AND RECENTLY I UNDERSTOOD THAT I WONT EVER BE.I WAS A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR MAJORITY OF MY TEACHERS AND EVERYONE JUST NEEDED A REASON TO PULL ME OUT ,FROM FIRST DAY OF CLASS PREP A ,WHERE I WAS PULLED OUT OF THE CLASS TO MY LAST DAYS OF CLASS 10 B WHERE I GOT THAT ICONIC SEXY SLAP FROM OUT SCHOOL HOTTIE Mrs.CHAUDHARY.APART OF THIS I HAD A NUMEROUS ENCOUNTER WITH TRUTH OR ACTUALLY TRUTHS IN MY CASE AS THERE WERE A LOT OF THEM .FOR EX WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOURS FATHERS MONEY?,WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A WASTE OR ARE YOU REALLY GOOD AT ANYTHING?I DO HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF ME PICKING UP MY BOOKS AND NOTES WHILE IN CLASS 4B ,WHEN A WELL WISHER TEACHER OF MINE USED TO THROW MY BAG IN THE CORRIDOR ON REGULAR BASIS,YOU MUST HAVE PONDERED ON MY SHAMELESSNESS AT SOME TIME OR OTHER AND THIS IS HOW IT SEEPED INTO ME,NO SHAME NO BLAME.THERE WERE MOMENTS WHEN MY DEAR EGO DID CLASH TO MINORS HEROES AND SUPERHEROES,AND TILL DATE I HAVE MAINTAINED A PERFECT RECORD OF EQUATING EVERY EQUATION,COS ITS THE DESTINATION WHICH IS IMPORTANT NOT THE PATH WHICH WE CHOOSE.

I HAD MY SHARE OF THAT INFATUATION BLUFF OR WHAT WE USED TO SAY AS "I LOVE YOU"SYNDROME,ITS FUNNY TO REMEMBER SOME 13 YEAR OLD SAYING THIS TO A GIRL ON THE SCHOOL BUS STOP,OR A JUNIOR BOY ASKING A SENIOR GIRL'S NOTEBOOK JUST TO IMPRESS HER .WELL IT WAS SOMETHING REAL AND WAS REALLY FUN ALTHOUGH IT DID BRING SOME SPINE CHILLING NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN STREET FIGHT SCENES,I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND A WAY OUT SOME HOW,EVERY TIME.

GOD! ITS OVERWHELMING TO REMEMBER THAT SO MANY ,SO MANY HAD A CHANCE TO TAKE A TAKE ON ME OR IN SOCIAL TERMS RATHER I SHOULD SAY THAT SO MANY PEOPLE CARED FOR MY PROPER MENTAL AND MORAL DEVELOPMENT ANY WISHED ME TO HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE.




DEDICATED TO THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD BE COUNTED AS A TEACHER,
Mr.ARUP KUMAR SINHA.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

हर पल ....................

हर लम्हा अपना , हर लम्हा सच्चा
हर बात इतनी प्यारी जैसे कोई छोटा सा बच्चा
हर एहसास ,एक नया आघाज़
हर हसी मेरी अधूरी आवाज़
हर घड़ी एक नई शरारत
हर लम्हा वही तुम्हारी मुस्कराहट
हर वाकया तुमसे ही जुड़ा है
हर पल जाने कैसे इतना नया है?
हर तस्वीर नई कहाह्नी है
हर पिछली बात अब काफी पुरानी है
हर खुशी अब पाई है
हर हसी अब खिलखिलाई है
हर समय तुम याद आते हो
हर बार दिल को अकेला छोड़ जाते हो
हर मुस्कराहट है अब एक ख्वाइश
हर नख़रा एक नई फरमाइश
हर लडाई एक नई अंगडाई
हर बात मुझे तुम्हारे पास ले आई
हर मुलाकात एक कहानी होगी
अब कहो ,क्या मुझे अपना दिल दोगी?






so i think that it has sunk already enough
lets c wen it again wants to go even deeper
up till den b bye

Sunday, October 4, 2009

LETS STAND

YET AGAIN I START TO PONDER
WAS IT AN ACHIEVEMENT OR A BLUNDER
SILKEN AND SMOOTH TIME WENT BY
LEAVING ME ALONE DOWN AND SHY
EVERYTHING WHICH APPEARED WAS SKIN DEEP
U FORGOT ME LIKE SOME OLD STUFF IN THE KEEP
U KNOW IT, I AM GOOD ANY GIVEN DAY
LOVE IS FOREVER WHY DO THEY SAY
BULLSHIT I WRITE ,CRAP I UTTER
MY LIFE HAS BECOME A FILTHY GUTTER
WELL,I WISH TO RUN AND I TRY TO CRY
EVERYTHING WHAT I HAVE BEEN,HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A BIG LIE
DONT LEAVE ME HOLD MY HAND
I WISH TO HAVE A MAGIC WAND
GETTING OVER TILL ITS OVER,IS SO HARD
WILL YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THIS,CHEATED BROKEN AND RETARD
COME ON SWEETIE GIVE IT A WORTHY REASON
DOES YOUR FLAVOR CHANGES EVERY SEASON
SUDDENLY IT HAPPENED WITHOUT A REASON,OUT OF THE BLUE
NO REGRETS WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE,IF EVER I HAD A CLUE
BUT DEAR IF POSSIBLE DO REMEMBER
I WONT EVER LET YOU FALL AND STUMBLE
CAUSE I WILL BE THERE AND ALWAYS AROUND YOU
AND THE REASON IS SIMPLY ,I ALWAYS LOVED YOU








SO FELLAS DONT GET HIGH OR LOW
JUS ENJOY IT AS YET ANOTHER SATISFYING EXP FROM THE BITCH CALLED LIFE

let it be over

har pal ki apni ek paribhasha hai

waqt ke dariya mein kabhi aasha to kabhi nirashaa hai

koi kyun kuch kahe,
chup chap apne sach ko sahe

sathi tumhare sath se sath tha
meri tabahi mein mera hi hath tha

kisi ne kuch khoya nahi,phir mai lut gaya
apne hi ghar k tamashe mein tamashbin banke rah gaya

aaj bhi yaado ki parchaiya mil jati hai
akelepan mein mujhe rote chod jati hai

kisse poocho kisko bolu,kiske dar pe raaz ye kholu

sapna mera salona tha,par shayad use khona tha

mai na kuch kar saka,chah k bhi tujhe na badal saka

jaha bhi mere sath ki khushbu hawa mein lahrayegi,is soone dil ko tumhari yaad aayegi

kya chaha us vidata ne mai na samajh paunga
mar k hi sahi kabhi ho saka to tujhe paunga


shayad pane ka koi matlab nahi
uninde is dil mein koi ghaflat nahi

jis rah tum chale ho us manzil ko pao
kabhi ho sake to mujhe meri galti batao

ya phir rahne do is dil ko u hi tadapta
kisi ki yaad mein aaj bhi ye nadan jane kyun hai dhadakta

ek din sath badal jayenge saanse toot jayengi
par us din bhi kuch bate ankahi adhuri ansuni rah jayengi


kabhi kisi bhooli bisri baat mein
ya tumhare hridai k jazbaat mein jo tum mujhe dhoond sako
rakh lena us baat ko apne dil mein agar tum rakh sako

halka hi sahi dard to kam hoga
aakhir koi to lamha jo jia tha humne jo sachha hoga

sach kya tha aur jhooth kya hai
jane is marz ki dawa kya hai

kab tak ye ghutan mujhe tadpayegi
na jane zindgi mujhe ab kis mode par layegi

uljhi hai mere haath ki rekhae
mujhse hai poochti ab kaha jai

bhawar mein phasa akela mai dhoondta hoon sahara apna
kabhi shanti milegi mujhe yahi bas hai ab sapna apna









Saturday, October 3, 2009

kuch bhi kya....................

mai khush hoon aabad hoon
aaj aisa lagta hai mai ek poora hota khwab hoon

hawa mein ek masti si chayi hai
jane kya chiz hai jo botal mei aayi hai

na pag hai na paimana
bas sidhe uthakar mooh mein lagana

har sapna ab apna hai
ab kahi koi fikar kaha hai

lao ek doosri dedo ye khatm ho gayi
raat na jane kab se itni roshan ho gayi

jalta hai mera gala aur mera jigar
par mano dost ye hai sabse khoobsurat dagar

are kadam jo ladkhada bhi gaye to tum tham lena
gar ho sake to kabhi daga mat dena

jaam ka bhi apna paigham hai
har boond pe pine wale ka naam hai

khud khali ho mujhe bhar jaati hai
bhigi aankho k saath muskuraht de jaati hai

hai ye dhua hai ya mere dil ka gubar hai
har kash k sath nasha apar hai

lao ek aur de do, meri khatm ho gayi
abe aur mangwalo, kami kya hai, dukan band ho gayi!